So you got a date….!

Well done! You’ve finally overcome your anxiety and asked out your crush. While that may have seemed like the tricky part, it’s time to plan your first date. As the potential beginning of a fruitful relationship, the pressure is on to have a great time.

Whether you met on an online dating website or through a mutual friend, the key is to make a lasting impression. Here’s a list of tips to ensure you have an awesome first date.

1. Pick the perfect location

Chances are you’ve already talked about your interests, especially if you’re online. Now, it’s time to apply this information to your first date ideas. When finding the perfect date location, it’s important to choose a place that makes connecting easier. For instance, if you both like bowling, set up a date at the local alley. This gives you guys an opportunity to showcase your personality over a fun activity.

If you prefer a more intimate location, you can meet at a coffee shop. This way, you’re still in a safe environment but there’s fewer distractions, so you can get to know each other.

2. Spend enough time talking

Usually when people go on their first date, they spend little to no time talking. They’re either watching a movie in a theater, dancing at a club, or at a concert with loud speakers. By the time the date is over, you may have had a great time, but how much did you get to know each other?

Your subsequent dates can be about having fun, but your first date should involve a conversation. For all you know, you may not even like talking to each other. A conversation on your first date usually determines how well you’ll communicate in the future.

If you met your date on an online dating website, it’s a bit easier to make conversation. Now, it’s time for the real deal. If you want to have a great conversation but you’re a bit socially awkward, there are some ways to find things to talk about.

For one, you can create a list of questions to ask each other. Studies show question lists are one of the easiest ways to get to know someone on a deeper level. In addition to asking engaging questions, a great conversation involves give and take. If your date tells you a story that you can relate to, listen and share a similar story.

In order to have a smooth conversation, you need to keep a clear mind.

Sure, a connection is hard to plan, but you can mentally prepare yourself to keep calm throughout the date. When talking to your date, be confident in what you’re saying. If you don’t know something, have the courage to speak up and ask for some clarification.

Keep in mind, communication involves more than speech. Pay close attention to body language. Body language tells you a lot about how well things are going. Here are some common nonverbal behaviors to look out for.

• Are you folding your arms? Folded arms are usually a sign of discomfort or lack of interest. If you’re enjoying the conversation, try leaning in a bit to appear fully engaged.

• If you’re speaking and you realize your date’s arms are crossed or they’re not fully facing you, change the subject. Maybe they’re uncomfortable with the subject matter but don’t want to hurt your feelings.

• Do you want to let them know you’re interested in what they’re saying? Mirror their behavior. If they take a drink, take a drink. When you have a great attraction to someone, you’re more likely to imitate their behavior.

• Are you fully facing each other? Studies show that you’re more likely to face the direction you want to go. By facing each other, it shows you’re exactly where you want to be. Also, make eye contact so they know they have your undivided attention.

3. Wear the right outfit

What you wear helps define who you are.

Therefore, you must wear something that makes you look your best and feel confident. Your outfit should also choose an outfit that makes sense for the date. For instance, if you’re going to a nice restaurant, your favorite jeans and t-shirt may need to sit this one out.

Whatever you decide to wear, make sure you’re comfortable. Six inch heels may make your legs look amazing, but are they the best footwear for a moonlit walk in the park? Probably not.

4. Let go of relationship expectations

Remember, this is your first date, so avoid coming on too strong. There’s a big difference between optimism and having relationship expectations. Going in with the intention of making this your life partner adds pressure for both parties. You’re also less likely to make a genuine connection.

On the other hand, many people don’t make it past the first date because they go in with preconceived notions.

Both you and your date are probably nervous about meeting for the first time, so instead of assuming the date will go wrong, go with the flow.

Sometimes, the reason you struggle to meet someone has nothing to do with them. Sure, it’s okay to have preferences, but be aware of when you’re being excessive.

Many people fall victim to letting someone go because they lack one characteristic on their perfect partner list. It can be something as minor as your date having a weird laugh that makes you decide they’re not the one for you.

Every time you do this, you miss an opportunity to meet an otherwise great person. In a healthy relationship, you’re not going to like every detail about your partner. This doesn’t mean that they aren’t right for you. Therefore, make an effort to get to know them before passing superficial judgement.

5. Don’t force yourself to stay on a bad date

Have you ever had a feeling something was wrong and no matter how much you tried ignoring it, it wouldn’t go away? When you ignore these feelings, things usually take a turn for the worst.

There’s nothing wrong with a few first date hiccups, but pay attention to potential red flags. For instance, if your date is rude to wait staff or has a nasty attitude, these are signs that things probably won’t get better. Your first impression is usually the lasting impression, so if someone is rude or unpleasant, it’s likely things will only get worse.

Even if your date isn’t rude, don’t guilt yourself into staying in any situation you’re uncomfortable in. The first date is the perfect time to set healthy boundaries that follow you into subsequent dates.

For example, maybe your date shows their interest physically. If you’re uncomfortable, let them know, especially if they’re not picking up on your nonverbal cues. However, if they don’t stop after you communicate your boundaries, leave immediately.

6. Always be yourself

This is one of the most important tips. People respect and appreciate authenticity, so show up and be true to you. Even if your date doesn’t work out, you’ll feel better knowing you showcased your actual personality. Otherwise, your relationship is bound to fail.

Being yourself teaches you to choose quality over quantity. Say you have a wallet with one hundred dollars. Would you rather have a hundred dollar bill or a hundred singles? This concept applies to making a connection. Sure, more people may like you when you cater to their ideal mate, but being yourself will bring you closer to finding your perfect match.

Going on your first date can be overwhelming at any age. Remember, this is an opportunity to get to know someone, so make an effort to showcase who you truly are. Finding the perfect place, dressing to impress, and having meaningful conversations are great ways to keep your crush interested.

Also, make sure you establish boundaries. If you plan on building a relationship with someone, you need a solid foundation. Following these tips combined with being true to yourself will get you closer to finding the perfect partner.

Photo by Shamim Nakhaei on Unsplash